Darkness Seduced (Primal Heat Trilogy #2) (Order of the Blade) Page 15

  “Only because Cade warped her mind and turned her into something crazy. Once Cade was dead, she would have recovered, I’m sure of it. She would have been my mother again,” Maggie said. “Between Cade and Gideon, they destroyed everything I had, everything Trig had, though fortunately, he was too young to remember any of it. If I hadn’t met your dad a couple months later…I don’t know what I would have done. I was seventeen, Lily. Still in high school. No girl should ever go through what I went through that day.”

  Lily closed her eyes and leaned back against the headboard. “How come you never told me all this? You just told me that Gideon came and killed them both.”

  “Oh, Lily, how could I possibly tell you a story about a mother turning on her own daughter? It would have given you nightmares, and I didn’t want that. I just wanted you to know enough to make smart decisions and to stay away from Calydons. There was no need for more.”

  Lily swallowed. “Before Cade, was Grandma good to you?”

  “She was the most wonderful, loving mother in the world,” Maggie said, her voice full of warmth. “I loved her more than anything. She was so devoted to me and to my father. That was all that mattered to her. When she met Cade, she walked away from all of it. Just like that.”

  Just like that. Because she was Cade’s sheva, she’d left the family she loved and tried to murder her own daughter. Lily knew that a Calydon and his sheva were destined for destruction. She’d read the stories and heard the tales, but having it happen in her own family made it real in a way it had never been before. How horrific for a mother to turn against her own children. Lily couldn’t even imagine what damage had been caused to her grandma’s brain and soul to make her do that. The horror her mom had to deal with…”I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “Oh, sweetie, now that you’re back, and you’re fine, none of that matters.” Maggie sighed, and there was audible contentment in her voice. “You’ve brought my life back.”

  Lily’s throat tightened. “I’m so sorry you had to think I was dead.”

  “No,” her mom said firmly. “Don’t talk like that. It’s in the past.”

  “Mom’s right,” her dad said. “We can’t dwell on the past, or life gets unbearable. You’re safe, and we’ll see you soon. That’s what matters.”

  Lily managed a smile, marveling at their strength. “Is it any wonder I turned out okay? You guys are amazing.”

  “We take full credit of course,” her dad said with a chuckle. “Damn, it’s good to hear your voice, Lily.”

  The door opened, and Lily looked up to see Gideon walk into the room. Her belly did a little flip at the sight of him. He had changed clothes, and was wearing a pair of faded Wranglers, a rough cotton black button-down shirt hanging out of his jeans, and he had on a pair of work boots that were battered and broken in. His clothes looked old and worn in. Almost as if they were his comfort clothes…as if a warrior like Gideon needed comforting.

  He gave her a long look, and she realized how cold his eyes were. He’d retreated back into warrior mode, and she could suddenly envision him as the warrior in her mother’s story. There was nothing kind or gentle about him at all…yet at the same time…she felt herself relax, knowing that she was safe, now that he was in the room with her. No longer did the window seem to be a big fat invitation for Frank to come get her.

  Gideon came to a stop at the foot of the bed and fixed his gaze on her. He reminded her of a predator, waiting for her to flinch before he leapt on her, claws out, teeth bared. His eyes were dark, and there was anticipation on his face. Tense anticipation, and not in a good way, but at the same time, there was unmistakable desire rising from him, that same need that had leapt between them at their first meeting.

  Lily’s skin flushed with heat under his intense gaze. “Okay, I have to go,” she said to her parents, unable to tear her gaze off Gideon. “The police have some questions for me.”

  “Can we call you back on this number?” Maggie asked.

  “You can try. I borrowed it from one of the cops. I don’t know if they’ll let me keep it. Love you guys.”

  They both assured her of their love, and Lily had to hang up over her mom’s pleas to talk longer, knowing Maggie would never let her go. She folded the phone and set it on the bedside table, then turned to face Gideon.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Gideon wanted her.

  There was no way around it.

  Yeah, he should cut and run before they could bond anymore, but seeing Lily sprawled on that bed, her cheeks rosy, her eyes bright with anticipation as she looked at him.

  He was sunk, and he knew it.

  The huge pillows dwarfed Lily, and her hair was tangled around her shoulders. There were faint gray shadows under her eyes, and her skin looked drawn. But there was a flush of pink to her cheeks, and he’d caught the scent of her arousal the moment she’d seen him walk in the room.

  Gideon was absolutely stunned by the fact she’d responded to his presence after the story her mother had told about him.

  He’d heard the entire conversation with her parents, courtesy of his enhanced hearing. He’d listened to all the details, and he’d felt the pain that her family had endured. Yeah, he finally understood why Lily Davenport had spent her life searching for answers about his race. Why being thrust into this situation with Nate and Frank and the Order would be against everything her life was built upon.

  Yet, there was no accusation in Lily’s expression as she waited for him to speak. If anything, there was a level of understanding that hadn’t been present before. And fear… No, not fear. It was more like respect for how dangerous he was. Wariness. But she was also projecting a certain level of calmness. Her energy had become increasingly focused and controlled as she’d listened to the story about her grandma’s death. Instead of upsetting her, the information had empowered her.

  Her reaction made Gideon realize that knowledge was Lily Davenport’s greatest weapon. Her security blanket. For Lily, knowledge was power, and the quest for information gave her strength.

  Gideon could tell from the heated expression on Lily’s face that she hadn’t looked at her arm yet and seen his mark on her skin. Once she knew, there would be no calm.

  He needed to tell her about the bond, but first he had something to say that he hadn’t had the chance to say to his first sheva after he’d failed her. He leaned forward, gripping the footboard. “I’m sorry.”

  Lily’s eyebrows went up. “For killing my grandmother?”

  “No. I did what I had to do there.” He couldn’t step down from that commitment to his mission. The moment he began to get personal with what he had to do, he’d be unable to do it. “I apologize because I almost let you get taken by Frank’s Calydons, and then I almost killed you.” His fingers dug into the footboard as he recalled the sight of her sprawled on the ground, immobile, half-naked, dying. “I promised you I’d keep you safe and I fucking blew it.”

  Lily’s face softened, and she crawled across the bed toward him, a slow, seductive movement that made dark, forbidden desire pulse deeply inside him.

  Gideon tensed as Lily rose to her knees and laid her soft, gentle hands on either side of his face, a gesture of tenderness that made him want to stay right where he was for the rest of his damned life.

  “I didn’t die,” she said softly. “I’m okay.” She slid her arms around his waist, and he froze, afraid to touch her.

  He had to stop himself from getting involved with her. It was too dangerous to connect with her in any way, even if it wasn’t officially one of the stages that would wind the noose tighter around their necks.

  Lily nuzzled her face into his chest and he felt her soul reach for him, needing to connect with him after the story her mother had told, after he’d nearly killed her. She needed his touch.

  Gideon’s groaned and wrapped his arms around her, hauling her against him. No one had ever craved his touch before, not like this, and he couldn’t resist the call.
He kissed her hair, then buried his face into the curve of her neck, drinking in her scent, her touch, her life. “I’m so fucking sorry. I blew it. When I saw you there…and I couldn’t stop draining you. I’ll never forget it.”

  Lily shook her head. “No. It’s not your fault. I knew it would be a risk feeding you my magic. I gave you no warning, and I didn’t try to protect myself. I knew the risk.”

  Gideon shook his head, refusing to absolve himself of responsibility. “The only reason you had to do it was because I was so busy trying to have sex with you that I stopped paying any attention to anything else. I’ve never fucked up like that before. I…shit. I.” He realized suddenly that he was shaking, and he held her tighter, trying to prove to himself that she was really there. Alive. That he hadn’t killed her. “Jesus, Lily. How can you even stand to touch me? I heard the story your mother told. I’m a monster. You know I am.”

  “Because I’ve seen what a monster really is.” Lily sat back on her heels, and he felt her pull her energy inward, as if she were amassing it to protect herself. “I need you to understand something about me, Gideon.”

  He frowned. “What is it?”

  She swallowed. “When I was seventeen, I met a boy. A Calydon.”

  Oh, Gideon could tell he wasn’t going to like this story. “I don’t think I want to hear about you dating some other guy,” he muttered.

  “No, listen.” Lily put her hand on his lips. “It was right after Trig had died. I was lonely and I missed having a Calydon in my life since he was gone. So I let this boy win my heart. He was nineteen, and he’d already come into his powers. I wasn’t his sheva so I thought it was safe.”

  Dark foreboding began to pulse through Gideon. “What happened?”

  “I went camping with him.” Lily closed her eyes for a split second, and Gideon felt her gathering strength.

  Fierce possession shifted inside him, and he tightened his grip on her. “What did he do?”

  Lily looked up at Gideon, and in those green eyes, he saw acceptance, a realization of exactly how bad the world could be. “When we got to the ‘campsite’, he had five of his friends waiting for me. He’d figured out that I was a Satinka, and they wanted to see what it was like to get a high off me.”

  Gideon swore, and she felt black fury rising hard and fast in him.

  “I had no chance to stop them.” She hadn’t let herself think of it for so long, but suddenly, just like that, she was back there. She could smell the rot of the nearby garbage dump, the dampness of the muddy ground, she could hear the distant hum of the highway, so close, and yet so hopelessly far. “They chained me up by my ankles and wrists, and then they started the music.” Lily rubbed her wrists, feeling that sharp pain of the cords digging into her skin.

  “Son of a bitch, Lily.” Gideon’s hands slipped beneath hers, loosely bracketing her wrists, his warm grip protecting her from the chains she could still feel. Fire raged in his eyes, helpless fury, and she stared at him, losing herself in the fierceness of his gaze. “Satinka magic is sensual in nature,” he growled with vivid understanding of exactly what her captors had done to try to bring her magic. “Those fucking bastards—”

  “Three days,” she said quietly, struggling against the old terror fighting to surface, striving to take over. “Three days they kept me. They never slept, they were on such a high from my magic. They were like manic beasts, fighting for more.”

  “Jesus, Lily.” Gideon pulled her into his arms, and she went willingly, needing to feel his strength, the protective warmth of his body to keep the memories from taking hold of her.

  She closed her eyes, breathing in the woodsy, pure male scent that was Gideon, letting it drown out the memories of sweat, fear and pain. “In the end, there wasn’t enough of me to go around, and they fought each other.” She still remembered their death screams, the thuds of their bodies hitting the ground beside her, the dark stains in the dirt as their life bled into the earth beside her. “They slaughtered each other. It took another two days for anyone to find me.” Six bodies, rotting in the heat, while she’d lay there, still bound wrist and foot, praying with every fiber of her soul that someone would find them, helpless to do anything but wait. Never again would she ever feel as powerless as she did during those five days.

  “Son of a bitch.” Gideon’s arms tightened around her, his voice raw with fury. She was locked down against him, trapped against his body, in a helpless position that she’d avoided ever since that horrible kidnapping.

  But Gideon wasn’t triggering her fight or flight instincts. For some reason, for some beautiful reason, the warmth of his embrace just eased away the panic and the fear, and made her feel solid and grounded. Was it because he’d saved her life so many times already? Because he’d used her magic to defeat the enemy, instead of abusing it? He’d done what he was supposed to do when she’d fed him. Yeah, sure, he’d almost taken it too far, but given how much magic she’d thrust into him without any guidance or warning, the fact she was still alive and he’d been able to channel it against the enemy was extraordinary.

  “Did any of them live?” Gideon asked, his voice low and lethal.

  Lily almost laughed at his fury. “You’re going to kill them?”

  His face was deadly fierce. “Yeah, I am.”

  Her smile faded at the intensity of his expression, and awareness pulsed deep inside her. Here was the man who would do anything to keep her safe. God, it felt brilliant. “They’re all dead,” she said. “They killed each other.”

  “Damn.” His fingers flexed. “I need to kill someone for that.”

  Lily could tell he wasn’t joking, and a thrill of excitement ran through her. Yes, she should be horrified, but it was sort of cool to be linked with someone who could do all the things she couldn’t, someone who was willing to do them. “Thank you.”

  Gideon gaze flicked to hers, and she saw such respect in them. Anger and deadly intent, yes, but also respect. “How in the hell did you trust me enough to give me your magic, after that?” he asked. “How did you let me touch you? And sing to you? How?”

  Lily bit her lip and absently rubbed her hand over his shoulder, needing to touch him. “At first, I thought I was going to die.” She held onto him, using his strength to help her deal with the memories. “I was so terrified I couldn’t even think. I cried, I screamed, and I begged, but it didn’t matter. They were insane, and they were brutal. Nothing I did mattered, and eventually, I became numb to the fear. I was too exhausted to be terrified anymore, you know?”

  Gideon brushed her hair back from her face, his blue eyes boiling like a seething ocean. “You went into survival mode.”

  Lily nodded, sensing that he understood. “My only focus was to survive, to try and hold back enough of my power that I could stay alive. I refused to think of anything but home, no matter what was happening to me. It was like I wasn’t even there.”

  “But you were.”

  “Yes, I was.” She rubbed her wrists again, trying to wipe off the scars that only she could feel. There were no marks on her skin anymore, but those wires were still tight around her wrists and ankles every day, every moment, no matter how hard she tried not to think of it. “I did survive, and nothing I’ll ever encounter again will be as horrific and terrifying at those five days.”

  “Shit, Lily.” Gideon took her hand and raised it, pressing his lips to her invisible scars. One kiss, then another, making a bracelet of his protection around her wrist. “I swear on my soul that you will never, ever have to be afraid again.”

  Tears filled Lily’s eyes at the intensity of his words, the raw commitment in his eyes and the tenderness of his kisses. “You mean that, don’t you?”

  “Hell yes.” Gideon swore, realizing that he would never rid his mind of the vision of Lily and her kidnappers, a brutality he would forever remember, because it was part of what made his woman who she was. To honor Lily, he would never forget.

  He was burning with the need to protect her, to do what
ever it took to strip her of that past, to honor that courage and strength that she held so bravely. How could this one woman have gone through so much, and still walk with her shoulders back and her head held high? But he knew the answer. “Some people break under that kind of hell,” he said quietly. “Others use it as proof that they can survive anything.” She was a survivor, a courageous warrior who fought with her heart, her soul and sheer force of will. “That’s how you made it through Nate’s, wasn’t it?”

  Lily nodded, and in those beautiful green eyes, he saw the woman he’d been meant to find for the last five hundred years. A woman of courage, hope, and beauty. There was no resentment in her for the life she’d been handed, for the losses she’d suffered. Instead, she was full of passion and emotion, openly feeling everything life brought her, even if it hurt. She felt pain, yes, but Gideon had heard the warmth in her conversation with her parents, he’d felt her love for her brother, and he’d experienced the absolute trust she’d given him at the river.

  Somehow, Lily had faced the worst, and still found a way to keep her heart open. Unlike Gideon, who lived in a cold shell of survival, Lily wasn’t afraid to feel pain, to offer herself to love, or to set herself up for hurt. Lily lived and experienced life with every last bit of her soul, and that is why she was standing before him, in his arms, showering him with the gift of feeling and living for the first time in five hundred years.

  No wonder Gideon’s shields hadn’t been able to hold up to protect him from feeling Lily’s emotions. She was so powerful that nothing would ever hold her down. “God, I admire you.”

  Lily smiled and snuggled closer to him, her breath hot through his tee shirt. “I don’t need much,” she said, “and I’ve worked hard to be independent, but I’ll admit that I’m at the end of my resources. I want to feel safe, Gideon, even if it’s just for a day.” She slipped her arms around his waist, her touch tentative and unbelievably vulnerable. “It feels good to be with you, Gideon. You make me feel safe.”